It has been a good month of fasting. Lost some weight, ate good food, practiced a lot of self discipline, well, I tried really hard and now it has ended.

Ramadhan and Syawal this year was kind of a bitter sweet thing for me. I always felt a little nostalgia when I think back of Ramdhan and Syawal last year. I remember, having only Anri and Foiza with me for Ramadhan, and how we used to break every single fast together at each other's place. We would all cook one dish each, and after breaking of fast, we would do our mass prayers together, amidst lots of laughter and fun, and then we would sit back and eat our sticky date pudding or butterscotch pudding or carrot cake and iced fruit cocktail, and watching rented dvds together, before we would walk back home to our respective places. And I remember how we used to sleep over each other's place during Ramadhan, and do the most random things at nights, like taking stupid pictures in the ugliest pjs, and laughing our heads off, and having sahur together....:) I really miss the girls. Those were really good memories for me.

And for Syawal, I remembered the multiple trips we took to Mirabooka, and bought like a gazillion kilos of meat and chicken to cook as we invited all our friends in Perth. :) We congregated at my place, and made cookies together, and watched So you think you can dance America as we baked, and screeched at our favourite dancers. I remembered the cooking lists we made, and I ended up making sambal goreng and sayur lodeh, Anri made beef rendang and Foiza made chicken briyani.

And on Eid itself, we dressed up in our best garb, and invited our closest friends to spend the day with us cos we didnt have our families with us. Those people were my family when I was in Australia for a whole year last year. And even though it wasn't a conventional Hari Raya, I still loved it cos I was with people who loved me and cared for me very much. I miss those times....I miss my friends in Perth, and I miss being there.

But there were moments of sadness when I was all alone in Australia. I remembered, on Hari Raya eve, as I was making my sambal goreng at night, and while waiting for it to simmer, I suddenly felt a sense of loss and nostalgia. Cos Hari Raya eve in Singapore is always spent breaking fast with my whole family, amidst laughter and chaos as we hang the new curtains and change to new bedsheets, and listening to the takbir Hari Raya. But I was all alone in my apartment cos Mark had to work I recalled, and Foiza was at home doing her briyani and Anri was at home doing her rendang, so I was left alone. And I recalled calling mom, and talking to her, asking her what everyone else was doing, and I remembered having to choke back my tears cos I was so lonely.

And Hari Raya morning was the saddest for me, cos I had no takbir to wake up to, no lontong and ketupat ready for me, and no family there.

So this year, I really savoured every moment of Ramdhan and Syawal. The fasting, breaking fast with my family, spring cleaning for Hari Raya, scrubbing my windows, cleaning the wardrobes, vacuuming, mopping, hanging the curtains, changing the bedsheets, baking cookies....And on Syawal eve, I really appreciated the singing of the takbir, and gave me a sense of calmness and peace. :)

So, yeah, bitter sweet for me.

Having said all that, I wish everyone a very Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir dan Batin. :) Hope you guys had as great a time as I did. :)

And here are the pictures of this year's Eid.