One of my best friends is getting married soon. Yup, it's Khalidal. She was engaged last Thursday and will be getting hitched next March. It was really abrupt cos she just got out of a complicated relationship and when I met her in March, she said she was seeing this guy she used to go out with. (I won't mention names just in case K doesn't like it.)

So I was like, ok...it's fine cos she just got out of a relationship and seeing people is a good thing. Fast forward to 3 weeks later and I got an sms from her.
'Hi K. ...just proposed to me and I said yes. We're getting married next March.'
Yup, pretty abrupt. I was flabbergasted, obviously.

I was concerned that she was making a hasty decision cos there are people who have been together for years and are still unsure of whether they should make that next leap. And I, being the opinionated person that I am, voiced out my concerns to her.

We met today and had a good and long talk. She said she was sure that he was the one cos there's no one else who's as good as him. I was apprehensive as I felt it was too quick a time to pass such a judgement. And she knew I was worried and the guy came down to TCC, where we were and met me. (I felt like such a tyrant)

And of course, I grilled him. Ha ha, I'm horrible. I asked him so many questions; like whether he was serious, whether he was happy with her, whether he was sure. Of course he said yes to all of the above lest I punched him. But what struck me was how happy she was with him. And he as well. They were laughing and kidding around and for the first time in a long time, I saw K not being stressed but being happy. And I knew that he loved her, from the way he looked at her. They were not mushy mushy grossification but more like, comfortable and assured of each other. I guess the fact that they knew each other for a while helped. And whatever reservations I had went away cos I knew that was the most important thing. That she was genuinely happy with him. He gave me good vibes and he seemed like a genuinely nice guy.

And he thinks I'm funny, which is a plus point. Ha ha.

The first time K told me she was getting married a long time ago, I cried. I felt like if I was losing a friend. This time round, I will be lying if I said I wasn't sad. I am cos I know that things will change inevitably once you get married cos your priorities change. But that doesn't mean you lose the friendship. The friendship just evolves into another phase, I guess. But I'm happy for her that she has found someone worth of her love. And cos she's my bestest friend in the whole world, she deserves nothing less than that.

It's 1115pm on a Friday and I'm at home, blogging. Been really busy at work, hence the lack of entry.

The week started off pretty good.

On Tues, we had the West Zone HOD Symposium and it was held at this really nice place, SAF Yacht Club, which is at the other end of Singapore. Damn far, the only drawback. But really nice and scenic. The theme of the retreat was something to do with ships and how HODs are steering the ship. I wasn't in the organising committee so I went down in what I thought was a suitable outfit: my flighty beige skirt with big flowers and a black top, but I was wrong. There was a dress code, white and blue and I was the only idiot in black. Needless to say, I felt like a moron.

Aside from that, the whole day was prety good. Spent most of the time with the other SAPOs (Special Assistants & Project Officers) bonding and talking nonsense and telling dirty jokes (by Rodney and Leonard) and we played a bunch of IQ games. Which I totally suck at. Cos I have no logic whatsoever. Let me quote you one: A man lives on the 70th floor, in a totally empty house. He's in his room and he managed to hang himself. How did he manage this given the fact that his whole house was completely empty? Note: There was a puddle of water underneath him.

Hmm....I seriously was stumped. The answer? He climbed on an ice cube, hence he was able to reach the top. I know, you guys are probably going 'Whaaattt????????' Cos that's my exact reaction. Anyway, it was a pretty no-brainer day and had a good time with the rest.

Here are some pics of the day.

My bosses aka Supts and DD.

Mr Dawson (the Supt I'm assisting. He's really, really nice. And funny.), DDSW (She's strict and a perfectionist but a wonderful person. Oh, and she has immaculate diction and pronunciation.), Mrs Chean (The other Supt whom I'm supporting. She's very motherly to me. Picks me up to go to events like this all the time.), Mrs Chia (Another Supt. Very hardworking) & Mrs Chan (Another Supt. Also very hardworking)

SAF Yacht Club. The venue for the Symposium. The conference room where the participants were in was facing this so it was really really nice.

The SAPOs: Weisi, Me, Wan Ping, Supt Mr Yang and Rodney.

Had a really long lunch today with Leonard and Rodney after our Principal's Retreat Meeting. We went down to CineLeisure and I bought a pair of yoga pants and a nice exercise top which has stylo holes in them, which does not require a sports bra. And...it's in white! I actually don't look fat in it. I'll try to take a pic of it next time and upload. Too lazy now. Then we went to Marche to eat. Wwe reached office about 2pm and at almost 4, we went for coffee outside the office. And I left about 445 to go back to school.

Then, the nightmare came. I know, drama. I went down to school today to meet up my VP to discuss about my going back after my Masters. Firstly, the P left the room when I entered the VP's room which I thought was odd as I assumed he wanted to be in the conversation too. Secondly, my HOD was not there though he said he will be there. So I was there all alone with my VP, whom I do not know cos she's new. This was how it went:

VP: So you would like to come back to the school?

Khai: Yeah. DD asking us to start looking for schools and the school came to mind.

VP: We have a slight problem though. We have an opening for English, not Humanities.

I blanched. English? What's with everyone offering me English? She said the Humanities dept was full and unless someone goes, there's no space for me. So if I can commit to English, I will probably have a space in school. And my HOD was not there to help me convince the VP that I would be able to contribute more in the Humanities department cos I've helped to pull up the grades.

I was disappointed cos I know I won't want to come back if I had to do English. I went down, saw Vidhu and Wendy waiting for me. They looked at me expectantly and I almost cried. I just shook my head and Wendy, being the friend that she is, whisked me into Vidhu's car and told him to drove off to somewhere else where we can talk with privacy.

We drove down to Casuarina Prata house and parked the car and talked. Damn warm lah. Talked for an hour and half. Don't know why we didn't go down and sit somewhere have a drink. But anyway, they talked to me and I was touched by how concerned they are. Vidhu went as far as telling me he would take on the English load while I do humanities just so that I can come back to the school. And he hates teaching English. :) My friends. Thanks both of you. Love you guys.

I think I'm going to go to other schools. If the school doesn't see the point in posting me back and doesn't appreciate my contributions, then I shouldn't waste my time. Even though my closest friends are there, we'll still be friends even if I'm not in the school. I think it's time to move on. I'm not going to grovel and ask for a space anymore.

I went back to school on Fri for Speech Day and had such a great time. For the first time in a long, long while, I felt comfortable and more like my usual confident self. I saw all my students, current and ex ones, my closer colleagues; Derek, Ee Kia, Kathy, Kelwin, Noor, Mrs Ong, Mrs Yau, Ms Tan, BJ, and of course, the usual suspects; Wendy, Vidhu and Angela. Oh, and Mr Touchy-Feely, Edmund. I was contemplating if I should wear my new Phuture London dress, which was extremely fitted, short and low (I wore a tube inside of course) as it might look a tad unprofessional, but I figured, what the hell.

It was great! Many commented I have lost weight and look slimmer even though I don't think so (The power of sucking in your stomach) but it made my day anyway. Who doesn't enjoy people telling you you are thin? :) I got a certificate of appreciation from my top History student, who dedicated her award to me. I was estactic, obviously.

Wendy, Vidhu, Angela and myself then went down to One Rochester for dinner and drinks after Speech Day and it was fabulous. I've always wanted to go there cos it's so hyped and it's in the papers and mag so since no one has any idea where to go, I proposed One Rochester. And it was a good choice. The place is situated in some ulu corner of Buona Bista. Parking cost a bomb. There are about 6 restaurants there and we checked out all of the and decided on this particular one which had a really nice ambience and a larger variety of food. It's situated against lush greenery and you feel as if you are in a resort as the roads are all blocked by the foliage. It's al-fresco dining and there were fans blowing at us everywhere, and surprisingly, there were no mosquitoes.

We had so much food, crab cakes, chicken wings, chicken, rice, pasta, some awful tasting crepe like thing, chocolate cake, carrot cake, the works. And we talked, and made fun of Wendy (Wendy, you know we love you. ), forced information out from her, fed her information (The girl is seriously gullible) had serious conversations now and then, Vidhu telling us (Man, that's hot. Man, that's hot. Hilarious). And...Vidhu paid for it with his credit card and as we were fumbling in out wallets for money to pay him, Vidhu said,

Vidhu: Khai, you don't have to pay.

Khai: Huh? Why? I'm only short of 8 bucks. I'll pay you when I see you next. Now, I give you 32 bucks first.

Vidhu: No need, no need.

Khai: How come?

Vidhu: For looking so hot today.

Wendy: Eh? Then me? I' m hot too. I unbutton my shirt?

Khai: Rolling on the floor dying of laughter.

We finally went off at midnight after all the bickering and laughing.

Here are some pics of us at One Rochester. I love my dress. :) It cost me a bomb but it was free cos my sis bought it for me for my b-day!

That's Wendy, me in the centre and Angela.

Vidhu, Wendy and me. (I should have let my hair down, I look round.)

There, much better. :) I'm so vain. I know.

On Sat, I met Maya and Fa for tea. Maya just came back from Spain, Paris and London and she was showing us her photos and she bought me a necklace from Sevilla. The places she went to looked fantastic. I was so jealous cos I've wanted to go to Spain like forever. But it was nice meeting up and just talking nonsense. We hope to go to Greece when I come back from my studies but Maya's worried that I would be too busy saving money to get married. But I told her I'll still be travelling even though I'll be saving up for my marriage.

The rest of the Sat was spent with Dev. We caught a show (Wild Hogs, pretty funny) at night and had coffee. And on Sun, I went for my Islam class and then went for facial in the evening.

What's there to look forward to this week? I'm taking half day this Wed to do nothing, Sat's my 4 years annivesary with Dev so we're going out for a nice dinner and Sun I'm going shopping with my mom and sis. :)

You guys have a good week. I think this week will be rather short cos I'll be out of office on Tues and Thurs (Symposiums to attend. Yahoo!) And Wed I'm on half day. So hopefully the week will fly. Ciao!

I got an offer for a HOD position. I have 2 problems though. First, it's for HOD English and everyone knows that I only taught English for half a year before I became a full-fledged Humanities teacher. That might pose a problem. Second, it's a school in Jurong. I know, JURONG! I stay in Yishun and I don't drive so the journey will kill me. But the P told me to think about it and after all Jurong and Yishun isn't that far away. I'm like...Hmm...Yeah, if you drive. Not it you take the train. I'll have to seriously think about it.

My stupid school still hasn't gotten back to me. So I'm going to the school this Fri for Speech Day and just ask the P and VP straight up. If they can't give me a definitive answer, then screw itlah. I'm not going to waste my time and wait around.

I'm thinking of applying to a JC to teach. I don't know, something different. I mean, I've tried teaching at a neighbourhood school where I've taught the tail end students as well as the better ones so maybe it's time for me to expand my teaching scope. Am thinking of applying to Innova JC, Yishun JC or Millenia Institute. Try and teach 'A' level syllabus. Probably more challenging in terms of content and student capacity. Will be quite exciting to lecture and conduct lessons tutorial style and not having to push the students so hard. We'll see after my meeting with my P and VP.

Maya's back from her trip and she has been telling me stories about her trip over email and her blog. Can't wait to meet up with her to see all her pictures. In the meantime, 2 more days and it's the weekend. Thank goodness for that.

I am totally PMS-ing, even though my period's here already. The weekend's over. I'm going to have 2 freaking long meetings on Tues and Wed, I have 4 god-damned reports to write and am on a full day course on Thurs and Fri. The only salvation for the week? The fact that I'm going back to school for Speech Day on Fri and meeting up with all my friends and then hanging out with Vidhu and Wendy after that. And meeting up Maya and Fa (hopefully) on Sat cos Maya's back from her trip!!! And she bought me a gift from Spain!!!! I'm so excited!

I had a pretty good weekend. Bummed at home in the morning, watching tv, reading the papers, oh...and watching some show on the net about searching for a new member of the PussyCat Dolls. It's damn cool. There's like 9 girls, all hot, who can dance and sing (well, at least most of them can) and look damn good, and they are all vying for a spot to be the next member of the Pussy Cat Dolls. Though I don't understand why the group would want another member when they already have 6 and all of them are useless except for the lead singer. But the show's damn good cos we get to see them singing, dancing, bitching, lamenting about their weight problems. I love reality shoes like this. It's not on tv or cable though so you've got to download it, which my sis does cos she has no life at this point in time and spends most of her time downloading trash off the net. Only this time, the trash is pretty good.

Anyway, after bumming the morning away, I went to town on my own, collected my altered Levis Marissa (I love my pair of Levis. I've been searching for tight jeans for ages and finally found this pair of Marissa jeans. It's tight, square boot cut and makes my legs look long and lean and bum looks cute in them. I'm so happy! Look at the picture of my gorgeous jeans). I also bought 2 mini-cardi and 2 books while walking at Far East on my own cos my stupid sis came 30 mins late, met Dev for tea, went to the gym where I almost died cos I ran for 30mins, biked for another 30mins, then continued with yoga for an hour. Of course, my body gave way after that. Ha ha...But I like that sort of pain cos I know my body is responding. I know, I'm sick.



Sun, I just bummed at Dev's place, cooked lunch together, watched trash on tv, and went Causeway Pt for tea.

So it was a pretty uneventful but cosy weekend. I love this sort of weekend, where you get to do your own things as well as do things with your loved ones. The best.

5 days of crap before the weekend again. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale....I so need to buy a black pair of heels.....

It's a Friday, finally. Just ended a really long meeting, a few things to cover and then it's the weekend.

Open posting's coming soon. What is open posting? It is basically an exercise where schools with openings for different positions will advertise and if we are keen on the schools, we write in and go for interviews, and yada, yada, yada. So for most of the POs here, they are either going back to their schools or they already know the schools they want to go to, or some schools have approached them. For myself, it's bit of a problem. Cos I'm the only one who's going off from HQ, not back to school but shipped off abroad for my Masters. Which kind of leaves me dangling. Cos I don't know if I should still apply to schools cos I'm not sure if they would allow their teachers to go off for 10 whole months cos if they are advertising, it will obviously mean that they want to fill up that vacancy immediately.

I called up my ex HOD from my ex school to ask if the school would want me back. This was how the conversation went.

Khai: Hello, Mr.... This is Khai here.
Ex HOD: Err...hello. I'm sorry but who's this?
Khai: Khai.
Ex HOD: Hmm...Khai from where?

And I'm like, great. No chance of coming back if my ex HOD does not even remember me. After all that I've done for the dept. Geez...

So anyway, I'm digressing. I told him that I was keen to go back to the school and whether there's a place for me. He said that he was keen on having me back but we aren't sure if the P would wait for 10 months for me. And he said that currently the school is asking for an EL and Humanities teacher, which I am. So he told me to talk to the P myself.

So, me, being Ms efficient, emailed the P straight away after my conversation with my ex HOD and requested for a session with him, the P, to discuss this further. I sent out the email on Mon. It's Fri and he still has not got back to me. I'm so pissed. What's wrong with him? I mean, if you don't want me back, then have the decent courtesy to email me and tell me. It's not like I can't go to other schools. I can. But I choose to remain in my old school cos all my friends are there and I have good working relationship with everyone there. (well, almost everyone) And I've done like so much for the school in so many different ways but I don't get a response. Ps from schools all over Singapore want us in their schools, and here I am asking to come back and he doesn't even ackowledge my email.

Dev says I'm too good for the school, that the school is sapping me of all my energy but does not want to reward me. I was thinking about what he said. I like to think that I'm working cos I'm passionate about the teaching and I need great people to work with, which I have in this school. But this brush off by the P is making me so mad. I'm going to give till next week. If he does not respond by Mon, I'm going to apply for open posting. I'm so mad.

Thank god the weekend is here.

Friends

Feeling nostalgic. This post is a tribute to all my friends.

First and foremost, to my friends from primary school: Diana and Yuhana.It's really bizarre to realise that I've been friends with these 2 since I was 7, that makes a 20-year friendship. I was a really horrendous kid. Gangster-like, major bully. And Diana and Yuhana were always there for me despite me throwing my tantrums and being a bitch. Ha ha. Yes, I was a bitch in primary school. Even though we lead very different lives nows, we still make it a point to keep in touch and meet up every now and then.
Diana is very gentle and sensitive. She's a mother-in-law's dream come true. She's a teacher and she's damn good at what she does. She's already engaged guys, so hands off. And of course, she's hot. :) She's my best friend in the whole world and she's seen me in my highs and lows, and my nonsensical phase. Always there for me, without fail. She indulges me in my different phases and I love her for that.

Yuhana is a motivated person. She has gone through a lot to get where she is now. She's happily married, to a damn nice guy, and...she has a baby!!!! Yeah!!! She's very family-oriented and loves her family to bits.

Here's a pic of us with Yuhana's baby, taken recently during my bday.

When I was in secondary school, my closest friends were Nad and Fa. But more about Fa later cos we went to uni together and we'll talk about her more later.

Nad was my closest friend in school. She's small, with great skin (I hate her), great hair, great legs (she used to enjoy running. For leisure. Insane) and fantastic make up skills. She's an accountant in Melbourne now.

She was really nerdy (we all were in secondary school, one way or another) and so was I so were gelled really well together. The fact that we (me, Fa and Nad) were probably the only Malay girls in the school who were not fantastic speakers of the Malay language, we were pretty much ostracized from the Malay students in the school. Not that we minded cos they were so focused on boyfriends and things like that while we were more focused on other things. Nad and I were Holland Village freaks and we used to skip morning Homec classes to go to Holland V to buy sweets and then rush back to school for lessons again. Haha..That was really fun.

Nad has migrated to Australia 10 years ago and I miss her like hell. She has come back like a miserable two times and I went over to Melbourne, where she is now, once, last year. And all three times were fantastic. Like she's never left. So hopefully, when I go over and study in Australia next year, there'll be more opportunities for us to meet up.

This is a pic of me and Nad while I was in Melbourne. Nad, I miss you!!!

Maya, Yati and Farah were my hang-out friends in uni. Fa was my secondary mate and she's gorgeous. And skinny, though she says she's fat. She's a teacher now and she's a great shopping buddy. Fantastic fashion and make up sense. She used to have gorgeous bouncy curls but she decided to rebond her hair when we were in uni and now has straight hair. Amongst me, Nad and her, she's the more sedate and level headed one so she kind of always kept us in check.

Here she is with me, during Hari Raya.

Maya was my JC classmate but we were never close till we get to uni. Maya has a very strong personality. When you don't know her, she comes across as aloof and cold but like how she describes herself, she's like a durian. Thorny on the outside but warm on the inside. I didn't like her very much in the beginning but once I got to know her, she's a great friend. Witty and articulate, intelligent, stubborn at times, confident and has her pesonal set of beliefs. Fiercely independent. She works at customs. She's a travel addict, like me!! We've been to Egypt together and it was a blast. She's in Europe now, vacationing in Spain, London and Paris. Supposed to go with her but I couldn't take leave. And she loves to dance too! We've taken salsa classes together and went for flamenco workshop last year. She's a great person to chill out with cos we have so many similar interests.

Here's Maya and me in Egypt.

Unfortunately, I don't have a pic of Yati and me together on my digi cam. And I'm too lazy to scan our old pics together. Yati's a very focused person. She's intelligent, meticulous and thorough. She knows what she wants and she's a go-getter. She's sporty and enjoys the outdoors. She loves unconditionally so I say her husband is one lucky guy. She's a teacher too and there are many exciting things going on in her life.

Khalidal. My greatest friend . It's really funny cos I knew of her since we were in uni but didn't like her cos of the negative things being said about her. But when I got to NIE, I ended up being in the same class as her and got thrown into many projects together. And she is the bomb. She wears a tudung but she's definitely one of the most open minded people I know. She's not judgemental, and she lets you make choices which might not be the best but she respects that. She's a great listener and I can talk to her for hours. She's passionate about her work and she's a great teacher. She's really, really smart too and engages in many different things with her life. But amidst that intelligence, she has a fantastic sense of humour and can laugh at herself.

We call each other K cos our names are so close together. I remembered when we were in NIE, we known as the crazy duos cos we were both seriously nuts.

Here's K and me in Turkey. I took my first trip out to Europe with her and it was the best time I've ever had.

And finally, my friends from my work place, Vidu and Wendy. They are the best people to hang out with cos they are so much fun. Wendy's really, really blur but she's a good friend. She's dedicated to her job and puts her mind to whatever is being tasked to her. Really innocent but has a good heart with a clear set of principles. She's a beautiful girl, and ske knows it so she constantly reminds us of how beautiful she is.

Vidhu was my mentee when he first started out so I was his mentor and teaching him the ropes of teaching. Before we know it, we got really close and we started becoming friends insetad of merely colleagues. He's a great guy. Handsome, skin head, flawless, cocoa coloured skin with great eyes. And buffed too, mind you. We have great conversations all the time.

Both of them are wonderful friends. We go out often, simply eating and talking at wherever. And i love both of them very much.

These are the people who matter a great deal to me. They make me happy and I know they'll always be there for me, regardless. Love all of you.

Hola!

Yup, it's a brand new blog. I had a blog in 2004, used it for about a year and then stopped. Why did I stop? Cos that was a really depressing blog. I was going through a tough time in my life and it was a place for me to vent.

When things got better for me I stopped as I didn't want to continue being miserable. Even when I looked back at the blog, I get depressed reading about myself. So I decided that I wanted to pen down my thoughts without the hassle of writing in a diary (the writing causes a lot of distress to my fingers) and thus, this new blog was created. It's really bare though so I'm going to try and get my sis to help me do it up nicely. :)

so what has been going on for me since the last that I blogged? In that year(2005), I was a teacher, trying to learn how to drive, planning for a trip to Egypt and learning salsa. And I was in a disastrous relationship, causing me much misery.

Now? I'm not a teacher anymore, I'm at MOE HQ Schools Division, assisting Superitnendents and DDs (Supposed to be good for my professional growth), I gave up on the driving, I have gone through 2 stages of salsa and not only did I go to Egypt, I went to Melbourne in June the year after (2006) and Cambodia in Dec. And I'm in a stable and very happy relationship with Dev.

What's in store for me? I'm trying to get through my stint at HQ without killing anyone, hoping to go to Spain this year, and embarking on my Masters at UWA Perth next year.

I'm going to try and consistently blog my thoughts as I realise that as I re-read what I've written, I've grown as a person. So here's to many more entries to come!

Ciao!