I'm leaving for Bangkok in 12 hrs time. And 2 horrible things are happening. First, I came down with a fever. It's been brewing since Mon, I've been trying to curb it by popping lots of vitamins and drinking lots of water. But yesterday, my temperature shot to 38.5 degrees and I was shivering so badly. Took paracetamol and some sore throat tablets which I had from previous doc appointment, wore long pants and a sweater, and covered myself with my comforter so that I sweated it out like crazy. Drank heaps of water too. Feel so much better today. Still a bit woozy in the morning but the fever went down and I'm actually at work, finishing up some stuff even though I'm on leave today.

Second horrible thing? The riots in Bangkok. I'm going to pray really hard that everything is ok. Cos we booked out tickets all the way in Feb and didn't know all these nonsense would happen. Urgh...Crappy.

I so need a break from everything. Will shop like crazy, eat like crazy and take lots of photos. Till next week then.

It's funny how things work. At one point in time, you are deliriously happy, surrounded by loved ones. You think everything has been set out for you. You have all these great plans and look forward in executing the plans. You are scared of the unkown but at the same time, you are excited too.

But one course of action can totally throw you off the track. You put trust in the people around you, the ones you love and care. You don't doubt actions, give unconditional faith and support and pray for the best. On your part, you are as honest as you can possibly be. When this trust is broken, I've always assumed the first reaction is extreme rage. But it's not. It's sadness and disappointment washing over you. It's disbelief and shattering of hopes. What happens when that trust is broken? Do you continue on? Do you give it all up? It's a confusion. Mind in disarray. How do you cope with something like this? Broken trust. And unsurety

Is crying an option? Do you be strong and move on? Do you provide the benefit of the doubt? But will it still be the same?

I am so bloody exhausted. I've never worked so hard or multi-tasked so much in my life the past 2 weeks. And it's only Tuesday. I'm so screwed. Anyway, as promised, photos taken during the weekend. Last week was really a bad work week. I was running to and from office to schools for workshops, seminars, retreats, meetings. It was horrible. I barely had time to sit at my desk.

This picture was taken during the West Zone Principals Retreat at Spore Discovery on FriCentre where I was in the organising Committee. Logistical nightmare cos we had to plan a retreat for about 45 Principals, but it went pretty well. That's Rodney, me, Wan Ping and Leonard. (I hate the T-shirt, I look like an SDC staff)

After the retreat, I rushed home to change to meet up Vidhu, Wendy and Angela to celebrate the ding dong's birthday aka Wendy. We bought her a nike sports bra and sports bottom (nike too) cos she exercises without a sports bra on (Like, major sagginess) and she wears ugly shorts to gym. So I and Vidhu went down to town over the weekend to buy her decent gym clothes. We went to Giraffe, a restaurant cum pub at Istana Park, and had dinner and drinks there. Wendy tried on the bottom and it fitted her pretty well though she said it emphasized her fat legs. Nonsense. Anyway, here are the pictures for the evening.

The view from the restaurant.



Bday girl with the card we made her. Ok, we didn't make. We bought cos Vidhu and I suck at anything which requires artistic flair. But we decorated the inside of the card with our pics and had our top 10 reasons why we love her. And it's not her legs or her ass. Hahaha.



Angela and myself, cam whoring.

Me and Vidhu.

All of us! We had so much to eat: Beef, salmon, crumbed mushrooms, pasta, choc lava cake. Happy!

On Sat, I went for a mani and pedi with my sisters and came up with these

Lilac for my nails and blood red for my toes. :)

So after that, we went out for dinner to Parkway Parade, where we ate at Fish and Co to celebrate Mothers Day.

That's my sis and me. She wears a tudung but don't be fooled by her docile exterior.

My youngest sis and me. Both of us are major cam whores.

My niece. She's vain. And loud. And stubborn. Notice the resemblance to me?

My nephew, who's crazily shy and my mom. She's into looking trendy recently. I shudder to think why. Hahahaha.

And myself.

Ok, I'm tired of uploading pics. Enjoy people. 3 days to the weekend.

I had such a crazy week last week. Not that it's not crazy this week, but I'm at least in the office to spend some time doing my work.

Have a whole load of pictures to upload, after spending Fri night celebrating Wendy's birthday and Sat celebrating Mother's Day. But I have no mood to upload cos I just ended a 10-hr meeting. Yup. 10-hr. From 8.30am-6.30pm. With a 1 hr lunch break. I was almost crying.

Dev got his PR. Yup, for those who are not in the know, he has been in Australia studying for 10 years, before he came back to Singapore, where we met and got together. He applied for his PR end 2005 and he got it last Thursday. It was a 1 year and a half worth of waiting.

It's funny. I've always known that he wants to reside there permanently, and I've been open to the idea of eventually being there with him. I would probably enjoy being there, less hectic, better weather, more things to do. So I was surprised that I was surprised when he told me he got his PR. (I know, that sounds weird. But you guys understand). I was happy, obviously, but amidst the happiness, there was this nagging fear in me.

What does this mean? It will mean that Dev will be going over soon. He intends to quit his job here, get a job in Australia and settle there from next year onwards. That's not an issue cos I'll be there as well, studying. But it also means that he will not come back and this has implications on me. Cos it means I will have to settle there too. Maybe not immediately cos I have a 1 year bond to serve but after my Masters, I will probably stay on in Sinagpore for a year max before I leave for Australia for good. To be with him. This is of course on the premsie that we are married. And we are are probably going to start planning for this soon cos we were waiting for his PR to come before we actually do anything about this.

I'm happy that things are finally falling into place, but I'm kind of scared too. I have to give up so many things. My friends, whom I hold close to my heart, my family, my job, familiarity. It's so unnerving to give up all that for the unknown. The only known thing there will be Dev. I'm not sure what I should do. But I know I want to be with Dev and he will only be happy there. And I want him to be happy. And I'll be happy there too but when I think of all that I'm giving up, I feel sad. Am I making sense here?

Urgh....I'll blog tomorrow or something. I'm rambling.

I am brain dead. Supposed to go for a doc appointment today at 3.20pm, then meet Wendy for gym. In the morning, I was out of the office the whole day cos of some meeting. When I got back about 11.30, I was swamped with work until 1.15pm, when my Supts had a short meeting with me. And lo behold, I had a 101 things to do after the meeting. Which made me cancel my doc appointment. Which made me cancel my gym plans. And poor Wendy brought all her gym things. So frustrating.

Anyway, just wanted to upload some photos of myself with Wendy and Vidhu when we met last Fri night. It's so strange. We only went to Northpoint, ate at Sakura, then ahd coffee at Starbucks. But it was damn fun. Wendy even said, we could be sitting outside the corner of some toilet and we could still talk. It's not the place, it's the company.

Wendy and me. We took like a million shots before Vidhu got it right. Geez...

The photo might look normal, but it's after countless hair pulling (No pun intended Vidhu) and shouting and screaming that we got this photo taken. With both of them actually looking normal.

Hee.. That's a photo of my hair from the back. Nice right? It was behaving itself that day. Ironically, I have not washed it for the day and I actually had it bunned the whole day. When it was time to bathe, lo behold, it was so nice. But I had to wash it off. Damn.

Ok. More later on in the week. It's going to be a long long week.

Ok. This entry is going to be all pictures of myself, Wendy and Vidhu cos Vidhu is an ardent fan of my blog (He reads it everyday, though I don't upload it everyday) and this is just for him. Photos galore.

We were at some Grandparents Day function. We went cos of Kak Asnah, our office lady. That her behind us on the right picture. The other two are Cindy and Mr Lee Hairong. Vidhu and I look hot. Hahahaha. My hair was behaving that day.

Vidhu's surprise mini bday party in school. He told me that he has never celebrated his bday with a cake before so I bought him a cake and called all his closest friends in school to give him a surprise. He was definitely shocked.

Hari Raya 2005 at my house. :)



Teachers Day Celebrations last year. All of us went out to a club at Clarke Quay at night. The best!

Ok. I'm tired of uploading pics. That's it. Ciao!

It's Friday!!! Just a quick entry cos I know I'll be too busy this weekend to blog. Going to meet my 2 bestest non Malay friends, Vidhu and Wendy tonight for dinner. Wendy was supposed to gym with me today, then decided she was too lazy, then decided that she wanted to meet for dinner. And of course, me, being very accommodating, cancelled my gym plans to meet up with both of them, even though I lugged my gym things today. But meeting them is definitely more fun than gymming on my own. I'll probably try and gym on Sun morning. Do yoga or something. I need to stretch my back. My lump is killing me. (For those of you who are close to me, you'll understand about the lump. For those who have no clue what I'm talking about, ask me when you see me next.)

Had a horrendously looooooong....... meeting just now. From 8.30am to 2.30pm. Almost cried man. It was painful. But had a good time after that with colleagues, having lunch at Ikea. Only came back at 4. Hee.. :) Took a photo with Rodny before I left for lunch. Why? Cos the office staff, Mr Gan, was holding a camera and I said 'Ok, let's take photo!' I know, I'm such a camera whore.

Here it is. I look a bit shitty, but after a 6 hr meeting, I think I'm excused.

Ok. I'm going to finish up some work and scoot back home before meeting my friends up. You all have a good weekend!

My sis tagged me. God-Knows what that means but I kind of get the idea. You are supposed to list down ten little known facts about myself. Though, for me, it's quite hard, cos I'm like an open book. And this is actually pretty juvenile but what the heck. Anything to break the monotony of work. So here goes.

10 little known facts about moi.

1. I have a lot of insecurities. I might seem like a really confident person, but deep down inside I am actually unsure about a lot of things. But I have to be confident cos many people depend on me. Which brings me to the next point.

2. Many people say I'm bossy and always need to be in control. What they don't know is I did not start off like that. I have to be in control as I'm the unofficial head of the family. So this bossiness was more of a progression due to circumstances and lack of options. And the need to ensure my family doesn't get pushed around.

3. I actually own my flat. It's not my mom's. I bought it when I was 23 for my mom, myself and my younger sis. I got the contractors & painters down, arranged for renovations, bought furniture, the works to get my house ready. And it's something I'm very proud of cos I did all that when I was only 23.

4. I wasn't an exercise addict before. I am now because of Dev, who lives in the gym. And ever since then, I can't go without gymming. I get withdrawal symptoms when I skip gym and I feel like shit. Seriously.

5. At one point in time in my career, I was seriously considering switching profession. From a teacher to a fashion buyer. I know, you guys are going, 'Fashion Buyer???' But I contemplated and decided against it. I'm so weird, I know.

6. Despite my tough demeanour, I am actually a softie. I cry very easily, though I do it in private.

7. I am very proud of my culture and heritage and being a Malay and a Muslim though I don't act like it sometimes.

8. Until recently, I found it hard to have platonic friendships with guys as something always develops from the friendship.

9. I am actually a good cook. And I can bake too. What can I cook? Nasi lemak, chicken rice, asam pedas, beef chop, curry chicken, sambal belado. What can I bake? Brownies, muffins, strawberry pies, kueh hari raya. I'm not kidding. I'm just too busy now.

10. I'm very protective towards my family. Especially towards my younger sis cos she's at a stage in her life where she's unsure of what she wants to do, my mom cos she's scared of a lot of things due to the many falls she had gone through, and my neice and nephew cos they are my babies. So when my elder sis tells me that they are being bullied, I always have this urge to go down and beat the shit out of the bullies though it's not the best solution. Many people think I'm not a family-family person but I am. I just show it differently. Only I can say anything negative towards my family. No else can.

There, 10 things about me you might not know. Or you might already know and I'm just reaffirmng things. Whatever it is, enjoy reading this. I'm not going to bother tagging anyone cos all my friends have better things to do with their time but if you are free, go ahead and tell me your 10 things. :)