I have been so sick and recovered just in time for the Chinese New Year long weekend. It started early last week in what I thought was a simple flu and stayed home to recuperate for a day and a half. Then I went back to school on a Friday, and still managed to watch Cuban ballet @ the Esplanade with Maya in the evening and worked through the whole Sat morning in school. Then I got home, and from there, I got horrendously sick. Fever rose all the way up to 38.5 deg and by night, I was burning up and was coughing like a maniac. And it's not like I was not eating my medication conscientiously. I was!!

I woke up the next morning feeling like I just entered hell. My temperature was at 40 deg, and I was coughing as though my ribs were going to break. It was bad. I was so dizzy from the body heat that I collapsed against my bathroom door and my door actually fell off its hinges! Crazy. Anyway, I went to the doctor again, and got 3 days off from work cos that was how sick I was. And I was concussed in bed all 3 days.

I usually get sick, or very very sick when I am under a lot of stress. And this only happens usually 5 months into the school term. But I have been on full turbo engine since 19 Dec 2011 and have not stopped since. I think since 19 Dec to the time I collapsed, I have organised 10 school events (some big, some small) which means I am under constant stress. I just took on this new portfolio fully this year and it has been tough and not very forgiving. I am a stress head and anal about how things go, which means I have to make sure everything is under close scrutiny and I will not breathe until everything is settled. So imagine going through this sequence 10 times in 3 weeks, on top of my teaching and marking...Not the best combination.

I have never worked so hard in my whole life. I am doing so many new things, all at one go. I am a person who is passionate about my job. If you have read through my previous blog entries, yes, I whine about the amount of work that needs to be done, but I ultimately love what I do. I love my kids, I love what I teach, I care for my kids like nobody else does, and I feel for my job. I wake up every morning excited about going to school. But this year, I have been miserable. I don't have as many classes as I have undertaken a more management role, which means my contact with my kids is lesser. I have no form class, nor CCA. But I have so much admin to do, and planning and I don't know if I'm just bad at it or it's really tough. My colleagues tell me I am doing a good job. They are nice. I personally feel that I am barely keeping afloat and I spent my first week in school crying every night cos I dreaded school. Second week was better cos I think I wasn't pms-ing as much, but I think by then, my body decided to shut down, to tell me to stop. And that's why I got so sick. And hence the super long absence from school. And the weight loss. And pasty skin. Vile.

This long CNY weekend has been great. For my physical and mental well being. I did things that I love. I went to the Esplanade with a friend and ate chocolate @ Max Brenners (though I didn't eat much as I was still not 100%), sat by the Esplanade roof top and talked shit. I hung out at Starbucks @ Tanglin Mall and watched youtube on my netbook with another friend, and had coffee and laughed like crazy.  I watched a late movie and had supper. I ran twice in the 4 days break, and hot yoag-ed twice as well. I slept in, I took afternoon naps, I watched America Idol, So you think you can Dance, reruns of the 53rd Annual Grammy Awards, America's Next top model and reruns of Friends, I went to Paul's @ Takashimaya and ate feshly baked croissants.I was just happy to be healthy, laughing and normal again. And I did not touch any work at all.

School's starting again tomorrow, and again, it's going to be full blast. No more long weekend, no more public holidays until March. That is another 6 weeks. I'm going to grit and bear with it, and most importantly, I am going to depend on God and my family and friends to help me pull through this period. I talked to God when I was so sick in bed, and told him to give me the strength to keep at it, and if HE thinks that this is not the right path for me, to show me and I will stop. At the end of the day, fame and fortune do not intrigue me. My sense of optimism, and sanity are the most important things, and I miss having those things with me.

Happy New Year everyone! I cannot believe that 2011 has just passed! And as always, I reflect on my 2011, and move forward with goals for 2012.

2011 has been a good but tough year work-wise for me. I travelled like crazy this year; started with Bangkok in March, India, Sri Lanka & Maldives in June, Bali in September, and I finally got to Spain, with a pop over in Paris in December. It was really nice to get out of Singapore so many time this year. And really, really expensive!

Fitness-wise, I am probably at my fittest. I used to run but it wasn't enough for me, and I was not as fit and toned as I would like to be. 2011 saw me picking up hot yoga and pole dancing, and I continued my weekly runs. And I am so so so so very happy to see the effects of my efforts! I am definitely leaner and more toned, and lost some weight. I swear, the confidence it gives me when I can fit into a size 8 nicely, and sometimes even a size 6!!! Exhilirating....

Work-wise, I finally took up an appointment in the school. I have been very wishy-washy about this. I was scared of doing something beyond teaching, worried that my teaching would be compromised, and most worryingly my kids would be on the receiving end of the shorter stick. Finally this year, I went for my interview, cleared it and have been doing it for almost a year. Is it easy? No. Am I dying? Yes. I am moving on to a bigger portfolio in 2012 and I am scared to death. But hey, life would be boring if there are no challenges to it right? :)

On the guys front, I am a swinging single. 2011 is probably the first year where I truly enjoyed and embraced being single. I met a lot of single guys, I went for single events, I went out a lot with my friends, and did a lot of things for myself. And I love it. :)

And most importantly, 2011 has been a year where I was truly happy. I am able to balance between working hard and playing hard. I am able to seek out old and new friends, and find peace at being with myself and doing things for myself.

So yes, 2011 has been great.

For 2012, these are my goals. I don't call them resolutions but goals, cos I make sure I attain them. Resolutions tend to be broken, but goals are achieved....:)

1. Get my car licence and get a car (Im getting there soon!!!)

2. Push myself harder at work and not compromise standards and principles that I have set for myself.

3. Be fitter, more toned through tri-weekly hot yoga sessions and weekly runs. This requires a lot of discipline and focus. Because God knows how hard it is for me to put on my running shoes at 7pm after work, and force myself to run for 5km.

4. To travel a little leser this year so that I can save a little bit more. Im terrible at this....Travelling 4-6 times a year on a teacher's salary is no joke! This year, Im hoping to go back to Australia in June to see my darling friends, and Japan year end for my yearly long haul trips. Not Europe cos I have been to Europe 3 consecutive years AND IT IS BURNING A VERY VERY HUGE HOLE IN MY POCKET!!!

5. And on a more personal note, to be less judgmental of people, and not get affected by people's opinions and perceptions of me as it takes too much time and energy to be bothered by such things. And to have faith in myself and God that everything happens for a reason. Most importantly, to be grateful with my life and continue being the happy and optimistic person that I am.

HAPPY 2012 EVERYONE!!!!