I had the whole house to myself today. First time in a long, long time. And man, did I take advantage of it. I woke up mid morning, and had a leisurely breakfast, and then just lounged in the living room watching hours of tv. I seldom watch tv. Cos I have no time. So today, I watched reruns of Friends, American Idol and Glee. Talked on the phone a little bit too.

I love having the house to myself. Some peace and quiet and time for myself. I miss these quiet times the most in Singapore. When I was studying in Australia, that was one of the things I enjoyed most. I had a good balance of time with friends and time for myself. And I had time for myself as I had that physical space to be alone. Mark, my housemate, was really great about not invading my personal space, and he was doing part time work as well, amidst his crazy studying at the university's library. So he was seldom home. I always had my mornings to myself where I just did my own thing at home, studied if I had to, did research if I had to, watched tv if I wanted to, cooked if I felt like it. It was just nice having the whole place to myself to do whatever I wanted to do. My evening runs were the things which I remembered most. I did it thrice a week, and I timed my runs to end just when the sun sets over the Swan river. It was really enjoyable. And these times I had for myself allowed me to just indulge in me, and it was only when Im back here that I truly appreciate those moments.

I have been overwhelmed with so many things here that I haven't had the time to really breathe. School, teaching, marking (the just ended common test is not helping in alleviating my stress), being wanted and needed everywhere, it can get pretty intense at times. And I guess that's one reason why I travel so much. Cos when I travel, I do it on my own. Mostly. I love going to the airport on my own, and walking around Duty Free and boarding the plane and just zoning out in the plane. Be it a 5hr or 8hr or 15hr plane ride, I love it. Cos it's time for myself. I dont have to make conversation, I dont have to worry about other people....It's just time for me to do whatever I want to do. To watch a movie in the plane, to read a book with n distractions, to listen to music, or to write in my journal....I love the freedom travelling gives me. And then when I meet up my friends over at whatever I am travelling to gives me the socialising that I need as well.

Im looking forward to the June holidays. I have managed to snag good and cheap air tickets. Not confirmed yet, cos I haven't made my payment. Will update once the intinerary is confirmed. In the meantime, Im looking forward to the March break. Travelling to Bintan for 2 nights. Spa, swim, shop and eat. Well deserved break. :) Can't wait

Narcissistic post ahead..... Just heaps of pictures, taken at the Fullerton Hotel, where we are to celebrate my elder sister's birthday...:)

:) Mid week.....2 more days to the weekend! YAY!

The word success has so many different interpretations and meaning to different people. I was talking to one my boys last week, when he asked me how is success measured. And as I was talking to him, it got me thinking and reflecting.

When I was much younger, I used to think that success constitutes these factors: A successful career, a stable income, a loving husband, healthy kids, a great family...Stability, to sum it up in one single word. That is the conventional definition of success. At least to me. And that was what I aspired for when I was young. So I studied really hard, got into uni, got a fairly decent job, worked really hard at what I do, set realistic goals for myself,was in long term and stable relationship...all in the name of trying to achieve this 'success'. 10 years down the road, have I achieved what I wanted to achieve?

Last weekend was probably one of the lowest point that I have had in a long, long while. I have accomplished many things in my life. I aspired to further my studies by the time I was 30, and I have attained that. I aspired better things for myself and my family and I have also attained that. Travelling was on the cards for me, and I have been fortunate to be able to travel often and to far flung countries. But when it came to relationships, I score a big fat zero there. I have been able to come to terms with my singlehood, and honestly speaking, I enjoy the perks of being a single. The freedom, independence, stress free....But you know how sometimes you feel that you just want to start a new chapter in your life? And that was how I felt last week. It just seems to me that everyone around me is moving on, and I am stuck on the same page. I see my friends in committed relationships, some are married, some have kids, some are having kids.....And I felt as though I am left behind. It got me questioning and I hated doubting myself.

And then I started to ponder over the things I have achieved in life. At the age of 29, I think I have done a pretty good job. I'm doing something that I love, I'm surrounded by people who love me a lot; my family, friends, and kids; I am financially independent, allowing me to do what I want to do. And I ask myself, how can you not be satisfied with that? A pessimistic Khai would go, 'Yeah, but thats not what I want. I want to settle down.' But on hindsight, I prefer what the optimistic Khai would say. That I am lucky and blessed and sometimes, you can't rush these things. And if it happens, it happens. And I like to think that I am a good person, so maybe God is saving the best for me. :)

Ironically, today I was one of the 5 teachers who was awarded the 'Most Caring Teacher' Award. I did not expect it at all. When my name was announced, and my kids brought the house down with their cheers and applause, the feeling was indescribable. From extreme happiness, to satisfaction, to gratification. For all the efforts I have put in, the love, blood and sweat poured into my job and my kids......And as I went up to the podium to receive my certificate from my principal, that was when I knew what success meant to me.

Success is defined by no one but yourself. Sucess to me, is not about climbing to the top of the corporate ladder, to be a HOD or a principal. To me, it is about impacting the people around me directly and to influence them positively. To know that I have touched them in such a way that the impact stays with them forever. And I think I have accomplished that. The most satisfying thing for me now is to have my kids be the best that they want to be and can be. To know that I have impacted them in such a way that they have faith and start believing in themselves. Life skills which they can take with them for the rest of their life.Success is also about continuing to push yourself beyond your comfort zone. To not stagnate and strive for better things. Does not necessarily be monetary, but things which can enhance yourself as a person.

Is this enough for me? For now, it is. :) And for the men, it will come when it comes. No point rushing things and being stressed when you can do nothing about it. Why waste time over something that is beyond our control and deprive other areas which needs more of our attention?

And with that, I leave you to ponder over what I have written.....Have a good weekend everyone!

The long weekend's finally here. Had a rather long week. Ended the week with having my old class of 4A3 over to my place. I catered a buffet lunch for the class, to reward them for doing such a fantastic job for me last year at the N levels for my subject. Exceeded everyone's expectations, including mine but Im not suprised. The class is highly intelligent, just needed someone to give them a nudge in the right direction. Ok, I more than nudged them. :) Lots of tender, loving care. So I had almost everyone over and it was really fun. Ate, laughed, caught up and I felt so much pride to see how they all have grown. And even those who were not able to get to Sec 5 or those who chose to proceed on to ITE, their love for me remains and never wavered. It was heartening. And extremely satisfying for me. :) Enjoy the pictures. The first few shots are shots of me with my babies, after our run. We do weekly runs and this was taken right after the run. I look a bit shit but hey, I was sweltering in the sun ok! :)

The buffet at my place. Pics with my boys.

My whole class minus 7 of them who were not able to make it.

My girls.

Yes, even at my staircase landing.

I have been really tired and a little under the weather. I think I might have to see the doctors again. Voice still not 100%. So irritating. Enjoy the long weekend. I just spent the whole Sat sleeping. That's how tired I am.

It is such a lazy day. I woke up at almost noon today, destroying all my plans to go to the gym. So what did I do the whole day today? I had lunch and watched tv for 3 whole hours. Watched a bit of the Grammy's, reruns of So You Think You can Dance Season 3, some E channel rubbish. Then I spent 4 whole hours after that reading. Such a luxury. Reading is one of my most favourite things to do. It's just that I haven't had the time to read cos of the other 101 things on my plate. So I've been totally enchanted by the Twilight series. Not so much Books 1 and 2 cos it took me half a year to finish those 2 books (from June last year till Dec) cos I only got to read them when I was on the plane travelling last year. The books were interesting still but not enough to keep me glued. Then I got Books 3 and 4 and OMG, THEY ARE THE BEST! It's like I'm sucked into the story and I can feel my heart stop, and get excited and happy and sad, along with the characters. I just started on Book 4 this afternoon, and I spent a solid 4 hours, curled up in my bed, reading furiously and I'm 3/4 through the book. IT IS SO BLOODY EXCITING! So many twists and turns!! I can't wait to see how it's going to end!! And after that I have 2 more books to read. On a woman's survival of the Gulf War and another on a woman's battle in Middle East. Yay!!! :)

I'm gearing up for the very long CNY weekend. I was debating on whether I wanted to fly during the break and decided against it. Ticket prices are exorbitant during this period, and to spend so much and have only 4 to 5 days of break didn't seem worth it. And I have got quite a few things to do. Will probably start on my exam papers since Im going to be packed for my March break. Just seemed irresponsible to fly off, though it would have been such a good treat for myself. And since everyone's going to be occupied for CNY, I will be probably work out at the gym. I have been eating a lot this week. Swensens ice cream, mud pies, white chocolate ice cream, urgh...AND I DID NOT EXERCISE THIS WEEK! Damn it. I'm going to have to hit the gym more. So Im thankful for the long weekend. :)

Short week next week so am looking forward to school. In the meantime, I'm going back to my Edward, and Jacob and Bella......See how it all turns out.....:) I love lazy Sundays......