I am a positive person by nature, always seeing the glass as half full rather than half empty. I am always able to see the positive out of every bad situation and it's one of the qualities about myself that I am really proud of. But this year, being positive is so hard given the nonsense that I have had to put up with.

Everyone and anyone who reads this blog would notice that my blog is a happy blog. I seldom gripe or whine or complain and when I do, it's always really trivial. But this time round, this entry is going to be a griping entry.

School has started for 2 weeks, and it has not been good. I did not get my class back. My class of 4A3 was taken away from me. For no apparent reason. Everyone in the school acknowledges that I have done wonders with the class, and how the kids are so much more wonderful now, yada, yada, yada. And since most of them came back, I just naturally assumed that I would be getting them back as my form class. Imagine my horror when I found out I didn't. I was devastated. I went round all the HODs, begging for them to change the form teachership. Got to a point where I asked nicely, then I started to beg, and then I started crying. Badly. Im not talking about little tears coming out, Im talking sobbing crying. It was horrible. I went to the VPs to the P and nothing was done. During the week before school started, I cried every night and I went to school with puffy eyes. That's how I got sick. Cos I did so much crying.

 And if you are wondering if I got back my class, the answer is no, I didn't. I have accepted it. My new form class is great, and my old class still sees me as their form teacher, always coming to me after school. One of my VPs puts it as such, 'Think of it as impacting and influencing more students'. I told myself that I would be positive about this, and I will have more kids loving me. :)

There are other 101 things which are happening in school, all of which are just to deary and tiring for me to thnk about. Im so worried I won't be able to do good work this year. My energy level is low, Im still not 100% well, my time table is crazy heavy, and I have so much work this year.

The only thing that's keeping me sane? My kids. As always. They come to see me every single day after school, just hanging out with me, talking to me, making me laugh, waiting for me to finish my afternoon meetings just so they can walk with me to the bus stop. Lessons with them are wonderful. They are 100% attentive and try so hard and it is gratifying for me the amount of effort they put in. I am truly blessed for the unconditional love they give me.

I don't think anyone in school realises how affected I am by this whole change of class issue. I know a lot of my colleagues probably think Im over reacting. They do not realise that I wasn't just good for them. They were good for me. And my mental well being. 2009 was great for me cos of them. During my down moments in 2009, they were my source of happiness. I did so many things with my kids, and taking them away from me is just plain mean.

Am I happier now? I still feel sad at times when I see them with their new form teacher.  I think of all the things and events we will have to do as a form class, and I get nostalgic cos we accomplished so many things as a class last year. But I am thankful that my new class is embracing me with love, and my former form class still loves me as much.

I hope things look up soon. Please.........