I watched the movie 'The Pursuit of Happiness' last year, and the movie struck a chord in me. I was watching the movie when I was at a very low point in my life, and watching it kind of made me prioritise what really constitutes happiness.

Happiness can be defined as a state of mind or feeling which can be characterized by contentment, satisfaction, pleasure or joy. Seems like a rather simple thing to do, isn't it? Ironically, this state of happiness if probably one of the hardest state to get into. I don't know if it's human nature, or state of mind, but it is almost next impossible for people to be genuinely happy. Or at least, 100% happy. We always nit pick and the things that we do not have, rather than the things that we have.

I like to think of myself as a largely positive and optimistic person, who always sees the glass as half full, rather than half empty. People see me as emitting out positive and happy vibes, hence the reason why they like being with me. But honestly, I have not been completely and geuinely happy this whole year. I used to be able to appreciate everything around me. Maybe it's because I had less expectations of myself, and when that expectations are lesser, you get contented more easily. I'm not sure, honestly. But this year has seen me rather lost. When am I genuinely happy? When I am with my family, when I am with my closest friends, and when I am with my babies (my kids). Maybe that explains why I am such a workaholic this year. Why I am always stay in school till so late. Cos my source of contentment and happiness come from school.

People are always under the impression that I have a very exciting existence, meeting up new people all the time but in actuality I do not. I spend a lot of time at home, I spend my weekends exercising, and shopping around Orchard Road on my own, and having coffee and tea on my own. It's thereaupeutic at times, but it can get kind of lonely. And maybe this can explain the crazy shopping and buying of things and extravagant jet setting that I have been doing this year. I read somewhere that people buy things or spend excessively when they need to fill up a void in their life (Courtesy of Oprah Winfrey....). And there was a gaping void in my life.

The gap has been filled. I am genuinely happy now. I have had a difficult two years, and I have been praying for some semblance of happiness and sense of peace in me. And I finally found it. The feeling is gratifying. And I thank God for that.....